With the holidays looming, it's been crazy over here.. I've been pulled in 17 different directions at once ad have survived.. hahahhaha Besides.. I'm pleased to announce we are 10 weeks pregnant... The boys are THRILLED, oh yeah me and hubby too.  They keep going on and on about wanting a brother and NOT  a yucky girly sister.. It's so endearing to watch...

Tag Back Tuesday

<a href="http://mommyingonthefly.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll269/peekab00o/toes-1.png" border="0" alt="Mommying On The Fly"></a>

Tag Back Tuesday is another day of the week that you can gain more followers and find other great blogs to follow on a weekly basis. 

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by Mommying On The Fly, and Demented Chaos....

We have found so many hidden gems with these blog hops.. !! 

 How it Works

  First rule is..... There are NO rules... Except.. Have fun.. Follow if you want and please NO giveaways or adds .. (those go HERE..)

***But a few simple steps to make it FAIR!!!!***

But ALL optional

1. Add your blog to the list. (NOT your giveaways or adds please!)
2. Grab our button and add to your blog...
3. Follow the first 3 entries , as well as our Highlighted co-host of the week (which we will choose randomly from the past weeks Linky, then as many other blogs as you would like. ***Please leave a message so we know you followed.***
4. If you are already a follower  and this is NOT your first ride on this rodeo, please follow the 3 blogs before you...  (so, we should each follow a minimum 3 and hopefully get a minimum 3)
5. After you follow a new blog make sure you leave them a comment letting them know Just how awesome they are and that you are now a follower so that they can follow your Awesome Blog back... 
6.  There is NO obligation to follow any or follow back.. Only follow those you truly enjoy....

and our Co-Host of the week is......

So, head on over and show some love......

To Be eligible for the Co-Host of the week, our badge must be visible on your page....

And can't get enough of the blog hopping???  Head here for a master list of participants....

Tag Back Tuesday

<a href="http://mommyingonthefly.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll269/peekab00o/toes-1.png" border="0" alt="Mommying On The Fly"></a>

Tag Back Tuesday is another day of the week that you can gain more followers and find other great blogs to follow on a weekly basis. 

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by Mommying On The Fly, and Demented Chaos....

We have found so many hidden gems with these blog hops.. !! 

 How it Works

  First rule is..... There are NO rules... Except.. Have fun.. Follow if you want and please NO giveaways or adds .. (those go HERE..)

***But a few simple steps to make it FAIR!!!!***

But ALL optional

1. Add your blog to the list. (NOT your giveaways or adds please!)
2. Grab our button and add to your blog...
3. Follow the first 3 entries , as well as our Highlighted co-host of the week (which we will choose randomly from the past weeks Linky, then as many other blogs as you would like. ***Please leave a message so we know you followed.***
4. If you are already a follower  and this is NOT your first ride on this rodeo, please follow the 3 blogs before you...  (so, we should each follow a minimum 3 and hopefully get a minimum 3)
5. After you follow a new blog make sure you leave them a comment letting them know Just how awesome they are and that you are now a follower so that they can follow your Awesome Blog back... 
6.  There is NO obligation to follow any or follow back.. Only follow those you truly enjoy....

and our Co-Host of the week is......

So, head on over and

Publish Post

show some love......

To Be eligible for the Co-Host of the week, our badge must be visible on your page....

And can't get enough of the blog hopping???  Head here for a master list of participants....

Second Chances

So, I finally decided to give my husband a second chance.  We have been doing this separation thing for almost 8 months now, and quite frankly I believe we have BOTH grown during this time.  Not to mention the new found appreciation for each other.  The boys aren't really too phased, since he was hardly ever home to begin with they just assumed it was just another deployment.. So far it's been going well, and we have both been trying to work as a team.  I really did not want to become just another one of those statistics.. (The divorce rate among parents of twins is 35% higher)....

Here's to second chances...

Tag Back Tuesday

<a href="http://mommyingonthefly.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll269/peekab00o/toes-1.png" border="0" alt="Mommying On The Fly"></a>

Tag Back Tuesday is another day of the week that you can gain more followers and find other great blogs to follow on a weekly basis. 

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by Mommying On The Fly, and Demented Chaos

We have found so many hidden gems with these blog hops.. !! 

 How it Works

  First rule is..... There are NO rules... Except.. Have fun.. Follow if you want and please NO giveaways or adds .. (those go HERE..)

***But a few simple steps to make it FAIR!!!!***

1. Add your blog to the list. (NOT your giveaways or adds please!)
2. Grab our button and add to your blog...
3. Follow all the hostesses above, as well as our Highlighted co-host of the week **#3** on the Linky... (which we will choose randomly from the past weeks Linky, then as many other blogs as you would like. 
4. If you are already a follower of the 3 hostesses and this is NOT your first ride on this rodeo, please follow the 3 blogs before you...
5. After you follow a new blog make sure you leave them a comment letting them know Just how awesome they are and that you are now a follower so that they can follow your Awesome Blog back... 
6.  There is NO obligation to follow any or follow back.. Only follow those you truly enjoy....

Existing

I have been having a hard time existing lately.. It sucks to get up, it sucks to move, it sucks to breathe.. I'm tired, and the only thing keeping me going is my boys.. And honestly, that's barely...

I know I am in control of my own decisions, and need to own up to my responsibilities and wear the consequences of my action, but every once in a while, I throw myself a pity party.. And it seems I'm due one pretty soon.

I had a pretty good support group when I lived in Virginia, but since moving here in July it's been so lonely. No friends, no family, no fun. I only pray for strength, understanding, compassion, and a winning lottery ticket won't hurt....

Tag Back Tuesday

<a href="http://mommyingonthefly.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll269/peekab00o/toes-1.png" border="0" alt="Mommying On The Fly"></a>

Tag Back Tuesday is another day of the week that you can gain more followers and find other great blogs to follow on a weekly basis. 

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by Mommying On The Fly, and Demented Chaos

We have found so many hidden gems with these blog hops.. !! 

 How it Works

  First rule is..... There are NO rules... Except.. Have fun.. Follow if you want and please NO giveaways or adds .. (those go HERE..)

***But a few simple steps to make it FAIR!!!!***

1. Add your blog to the list. (NOT your giveaways or adds please!)
2. Grab our button and add to your blog...
3. Follow all the hostesses above, as well as our Highlighted co-host of the week (which we will choose randomly from the past weeks Linky, then as many other blogs as you would like. 
4. If you are already a follower of the 3 hostesses and this is NOT your first ride on this rodeo, please follow the 3 blogs before you...  (so, we should each follow a minimum 3 and hopefully get a minimum 3)
5. After you follow a new blog make sure you leave them a comment letting them know Just how awesome they are and that you are now a follower so that they can follow your Awesome Blog back... 
6.  There is NO obligation to follow any or follow back.. Only follow those you truly enjoy....

The Voices

I hear them everyday...
They tell me I should stay..
They plead and quarrel...
and judge me immoral..
and for this I MUST go away....

Social Friday

Tag Back Tuesday

<a href="http://mommyingonthefly.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i290.photobucket.com/albums/ll269/peekab00o/toes-1.png" border="0" alt="Mommying On The Fly"></a>

Tag Back Tuesday is another day of the week that you can gain more followers and find other great blogs to follow on a weekly basis. 

Follow Me Back Tuesday is hosted by Mommying On The Fly, Mi Cosina, and Demented Chaos

We have found so many hidden gems with these blog hops.. !! 

 How it Works

  First rule is..... There are NO rules... Except.. Have fun.. Follow if you want and please NO giveaways or adds .. (those go HERE..)

***But a few simple steps to make it FAIR!!!!***

1. Add your blog to the list. (NOT your giveaways or adds please!)
2. Grab our button and add to your blog...
3. Follow all 3 hostesses above, as well as our Highlighted co-host of the week (which we will choose randomly from the past weeks Linky, then as many other blogs as you would like. 
4. If you are already a follower of the 3 hostesses and this is NOT your first ride on this rodeo, please follow the 3 blogs before you...  (so, we should each follow a minimum 3 and hopefully get a minimum 3)
5. After you follow a new blog make sure you leave them a comment letting them know Just how awesome they are and that you are now a follower so that they can follow your Awesome Blog back... 
6.  There is NO obligation to follow any or follow back.. Only follow those you truly enjoy....

Wasted

Time is such a funny thing.  I find, now that I hardly have any what HUGE commodity it truly is, and how much of I have wasted in my life.  Wasted on hate, wasted on people that don't deserve it, and wasted on frivolous things.  I actually sat down today to try and plan out my days, make some sort of schedule, and you know what I found? I need about an extra 5 ours everyday just to get done the things that NEED to get done.

I'm exhausted!

I was told by my therapist that I really should start writing again.  I do miss it, and I'm hoping this helps.  I really need to try and control these demons, so a prayer or two are appreciated, and if anyone knows a good housekeeper, cook, maid and chauffeur that work for free... Send them my way.. hehehehe... MAN, I wish my mom lived closer... This single parenting of twin toddlers is for the birds.. But on a lighter not, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum will be 3 soon ,and my little men are my LIFE!!!

S.O.S. Sunday OH! SNAP! #1

 

I found this Meme over at Mommying On The Fly..

It's all about sharing your photographs every Sunday....  She has a different Theme each week that can be found on her page HERE..

This Week it's Architecture...










Hope you enjoy, and if hope you get a chance to join in..
Would love to see every ones Pictures...

Amends

Who would have thought... Several years ago I had such anger towards you.  Such resentment.  I did not even want to acknowledge we were family, couldn't even fathom the thought of breaking bread with you. 

I have always dealt with my demons a little different than most, but one common thread was the anger.  It was like an atomic bomb every time someone mentioned your name....

But NOW?

I can say, I LOVE you little brother, and am so blessed to have you in my life...

Social Friday

Once upon a time... Blah blah blah... tell me at WHAT age exactly does it happen, that yor parents start acting like they're your CHILDREN?  MAN, I knew it would happen one day, but I was kind of preparing myself for it to be when they turn 90 or something... My grandmother is 80, and still lives alone, runs her own errands, and is totally self sufficient.  So, why is it that my parents in their late 50's are incompetent?  Unable to pick up a phone and make a call, unless it's personal or to eachother? Unable to manage their own finances?  I do EVERYTHING short of wiping their bums.  You know, I think I'm READY for a change. 

So, I went to the mall yesterday to do a little shopping, and Lane Bryant had an AWESOME sale... and like I've been programmed to do for so many years... I shopped...

Dug through racks, found a few gems, and once my arms were full... I realized, WTH am I doing???? My goal is to NOT shop here EVER again... and YES, I dropped the merchandise a ran......

I totally forgot to add in my raging trance writing yesterday.....


I was pleasantly surprised to look down and for the first time in a VERY long time.... I did NOT see my stomach... a TON of BOOB, but no belly... better watch out toes.... I'm on the look out for ya...

OK.. so, I've been home two days now and although some things are going well, others are just not jiving with me at all.. and I hit a new low today... Meltdowns aren't cute on my two 2yr olds, but even uglier on 37 yr olds... trust me, mine was NOT pretty today...
I didn't walk into this expecting it to be a walk in the park, but I guess reality is harsher than imagination...
I have been having a hard time with getting water down, first of all.. I have been soooooo thirsty... I want to GULP, it down, and know I can't. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be baby sips or regular sips.. so I take a few tiny sips, and put it down, and my problem is by the time I remember to sip again it's meal time... and NO drinking with meals right?? Let's not get into the protein... I HATE what I have, but took a trip to GNC this afternoon, I must admit, My husband had to hold me up during our trip to walmart, because it came to a point I couldn't even push the cart. It was scary....

Now... Head Hunger... that is what has made me the MOST miserable this morning and the cause to my major meltdown... and it makes me angry when folks tell me, but this is for the better... No STICK Sherlock.... Just don;t try and tell me what it's like in my shoes unless you've worn them... It infuriates me... I know I'll appreciate it and they are only trying to help, but when you're dealing with folks telling you it ONLY food, but can;t quit smoking, or their caffeine addictions... come on man it's ONLY a cigarette... right??? but this morning was rough for me... ALL I could think about was all I could NOT have especially that BIG MAC... and I KNOW I was NOT hungry...

armed and ready for a better tomorrow...

The hospital stay has been wonderful... walking well, even got a shower today... The first day is one HUGE blur... lol.. except the PAIN upon waking up, but even that seems such a distant memory right now... I'm excited to get home... I got Ice chips yesterday and a little Jello with dinner... I must say.. I have NEVER been a fan of Jello, but it was HEAVENLY last night... This morning, a little more and even turkey for lunch.. This seems to be going pretty good... Ready to tackle it in my own environment... Although I admit, my biggest challenge may be my 2yr old twins...

Boy... was today hectic... Had to get up at 0330, to get the gremlins ready and dropped off to my mom... once that was accomplished... (might I add that this has been the hardest thing I have EVER had to do in my life... willingly leave my girls in the care of someone else...) I cried myself sick... all the way to the hospital.. Once there, we realize we are in the wrong spot... lol.. finally after walking through most of the hospital, we found were we had to be... dum dum duuuuummmm... checked in and ready to go... last thing I remember was saying good bye to my husband, and scooting onto the table.. and that's it...

BUT when I awoke... Holy Heck... they had a hard time waking me up, so by the time I came too, all pain meds had worn off... YES... full blown PAIN... once we caught up a little on the pain meds it wasn't toooo bad.. except the nurses couldn't figure out why I had such high blood pressure and heart rate... oh well... If my Doc isn't worried neither will I be...

did I mention I lost a total of 13lbs on the 1 week liquid diet?? so, I'm dozing as I write... will update more later...