Hopefully today will be my last day as a skinny chick trapped in a thick chicks body... OH Yeah, and I survived my liquid diet.... and lost 6lbs to jump start my new begining...

Tomorrow is my surgery date... through all the hoops and hoopla, I'm finally here... I'm excited and nervous at the same time... But I KNOW why I'm doing this, and quite frankly I will keep focused on the BIG picture... sooooo now, 0430 can't come soon enough...

Today was the first day of my liquid diet... I must have thought of EVERY excuse to try and break it... For a food addict like me today was pure torture....
I did well, but the evening is not over... I am STARVING!!!!! I don't know if I'll make it till next Monday...

I am sooooo freakin' mad..... my day was going so good... hubby is off, the girls had a sitter, and we were going to see New Moon... on the way to the movies, I got a call from the Dr.'s office... some issue with the insurance and my referral... AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! now on a spiraling mission with the insurance agency GREAT!!!.. Have an appointment on Monday with my PCM.. let's see... but this has definitely set the mood for the rest of the day...

The movie was awesome, on a lighter note....

Wish Me Luck!!!

Today was my pre-op appointment...
It went well, I'm nervous, it's becoming more real...
Had to sign ton of forms, and was informed I will begin a liquid diet one week out.... so, Monday the 23rd...
I have already ordered my meds, and protein just didn't think I'd be starting a week ahead... I am an addict, and his should be fun...

All liquid all the time...
I will be doing my prep shopping tomorrow.. and doing a TON of cooking this weekend so I can leave the fridge stocked for the family, since I think cooking would be TORTURE....


Wish me luck!!!

Just a quick Jot to cover my butt in case I've just broken the twins....and an explanation may be in order, so here goes...

This morning, CC was home, and we were all watching a little TV. CC does not take into consideration that the girls are with us, and teds to selfishly watch whatever he feels like watching... Me, I'm trying to finish up an assignment on-line. The girls are getting restless, because neither of us is paying attention to them, nothing good on the tele, and quite frankly 20 minutes straight in one spot is just way too much to bare....
So, I say to CC... Can you please entertain them, I only need like 20 more minutes... He grabs TD1 and says... Come here baby, Mommy doesn't love you.... I'm heartbroken, upset, appalled... I reproach him, I say... Don't tell her that, that isn't true.. take it back... He exclaims... She's only 2... I shoot back.. you'd be surprised what kids remember.. and to my daughter, I say... Come here baby.... Daddy's Gay...

I know what you are thinking... we were just playing, but I think she is broken...

Wish me luck!!!

Had to call them to find out why no phone call yesterday... they claimed not to have all the results from my day of torture 1 MONTH ago... and I will get a call back.. JOY!!

Not to mention my EKG was a little OFF, as he put it and need my Dr. to sign off on it... Are you kidding me??? These Military Dr.'s are flakes sometimes, and mine.... she definitely resides on planet 51....

Yup... it took 3 1/2 hrs for her to figure out all she had to do was fill in my vitals for that day and sign the paper... GENIUS, I tell ya...
but at least I got that out of my way...

Wish me Luck !!!!!

I hate waiting... Horrible, becase ths IS the waiting game.. lol.. today they were supposed to call me with a surgery date.... and NO CALL...

waiting...
waiting...
waiting..

wish Me luck!!!

Today was a VERY long day... I dropped off the twins with my mother, the Queen of hearts and spent the day getting poked and prodded...
EKG, Chest X-Rays, Blood Work, the nutritionist visit, and of course my favorite... the Quack...

I was pleasantly surprised with the visit with the nutritionist... But the psychologist???? He reminded me of the creepy guy on the Frosty cartoon... You know the Magician, I think his name was Mr. Hinckle... and he was MEAN... But I could feel him prodding into my head, trying to get his little fingers in there and swoosh around... I let the tips in, and he only saw what I wanted him to see.. lol.. Just hope it was enough... He did however convince me that the Bypass was a better choice, and we're back on THAT ban wagon..

Wish me Luck!!!

I atended a WLS support roup meeting today, and left in tears, I am still in tears... The stories are so inspiring, and it felt good to sit somewhere and NOT be judged for who you are... No finger pointing, no stares, no embarassing announcements over a loud speaker... long story...


I will hold on to this optimism....


Wish me luck!!

First appointment, and Doc is cool as hell.. CC got to go with me too, which made a world of difference... Doc explained that due to the fact that I have no other comorbidities, he would be fine doing either procedure... The Lap band or Bypass...

Great... I HATE making decisions...

Good thing he stepped out to make a phone call, it gave CC and I a moment to chat... He swears because of my obsessive nature the Bypass would be better for me... I think he is right... If I don;t feel like someone has punched me in the ass every time I eat the wrong foods, I'll be right back at 300lbs in no time... sooooo.. By pass it is..

Wish me Luck!!!

Today was supposed to be my first appointment with the surgeon... and YUP it was canceled... they wouldn't have anything else for 2 months....

solution???? find me another surgeon... this is ridiculous and unacceptable... I'll be in next month...

Wish Me Luck!!!

I have decided to look further into this bariatric surgery, and the Lap band seems more my speed. I just went to a seminar last night, and the information is a bit overwhelming... Truly would have wished for my Hubby to have been there, but unfortunately the Cheshire Cat was deployed... story of our lives... I did however leave there feeling a sense of purpose, I felt a little bit more sure that this is something I may benefit from...

There are support group meetings and it is a requirement to go to at least one before they schedule you a surgery date... Meetings are not new to me, nor are they my friend... issues stick to me and haunt me, even when they are NOT my own...


Wish me luck!!!!

So, today I decided to go see a fertility specialist... I guess quite frankly the decision was made between my husband and I a few weeks ago... We decided to try this long torturous road yet again.
My appointment went rather well, all things considered... The doctor was very kind, but she brought up an interesting point.... My weight... It seems that is ALWAYS an issue no matter what circumstances I'm tossed into... She mentioned Bariatric surgery, and made me think...
I have decided to at least do a little research, I'd rather be healthy for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, than risk it all in search of something we may NEVER achieve....

wish me luck!!!