So, I went to the mall yesterday to do a little shopping, and Lane Bryant had an AWESOME sale... and like I've been programmed to do for so many years... I shopped...

Dug through racks, found a few gems, and once my arms were full... I realized, WTH am I doing???? My goal is to NOT shop here EVER again... and YES, I dropped the merchandise a ran......

I totally forgot to add in my raging trance writing yesterday.....


I was pleasantly surprised to look down and for the first time in a VERY long time.... I did NOT see my stomach... a TON of BOOB, but no belly... better watch out toes.... I'm on the look out for ya...

OK.. so, I've been home two days now and although some things are going well, others are just not jiving with me at all.. and I hit a new low today... Meltdowns aren't cute on my two 2yr olds, but even uglier on 37 yr olds... trust me, mine was NOT pretty today...
I didn't walk into this expecting it to be a walk in the park, but I guess reality is harsher than imagination...
I have been having a hard time with getting water down, first of all.. I have been soooooo thirsty... I want to GULP, it down, and know I can't. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be baby sips or regular sips.. so I take a few tiny sips, and put it down, and my problem is by the time I remember to sip again it's meal time... and NO drinking with meals right?? Let's not get into the protein... I HATE what I have, but took a trip to GNC this afternoon, I must admit, My husband had to hold me up during our trip to walmart, because it came to a point I couldn't even push the cart. It was scary....

Now... Head Hunger... that is what has made me the MOST miserable this morning and the cause to my major meltdown... and it makes me angry when folks tell me, but this is for the better... No STICK Sherlock.... Just don;t try and tell me what it's like in my shoes unless you've worn them... It infuriates me... I know I'll appreciate it and they are only trying to help, but when you're dealing with folks telling you it ONLY food, but can;t quit smoking, or their caffeine addictions... come on man it's ONLY a cigarette... right??? but this morning was rough for me... ALL I could think about was all I could NOT have especially that BIG MAC... and I KNOW I was NOT hungry...

armed and ready for a better tomorrow...

The hospital stay has been wonderful... walking well, even got a shower today... The first day is one HUGE blur... lol.. except the PAIN upon waking up, but even that seems such a distant memory right now... I'm excited to get home... I got Ice chips yesterday and a little Jello with dinner... I must say.. I have NEVER been a fan of Jello, but it was HEAVENLY last night... This morning, a little more and even turkey for lunch.. This seems to be going pretty good... Ready to tackle it in my own environment... Although I admit, my biggest challenge may be my 2yr old twins...

Boy... was today hectic... Had to get up at 0330, to get the gremlins ready and dropped off to my mom... once that was accomplished... (might I add that this has been the hardest thing I have EVER had to do in my life... willingly leave my girls in the care of someone else...) I cried myself sick... all the way to the hospital.. Once there, we realize we are in the wrong spot... lol.. finally after walking through most of the hospital, we found were we had to be... dum dum duuuuummmm... checked in and ready to go... last thing I remember was saying good bye to my husband, and scooting onto the table.. and that's it...

BUT when I awoke... Holy Heck... they had a hard time waking me up, so by the time I came too, all pain meds had worn off... YES... full blown PAIN... once we caught up a little on the pain meds it wasn't toooo bad.. except the nurses couldn't figure out why I had such high blood pressure and heart rate... oh well... If my Doc isn't worried neither will I be...

did I mention I lost a total of 13lbs on the 1 week liquid diet?? so, I'm dozing as I write... will update more later...

Hopefully today will be my last day as a skinny chick trapped in a thick chicks body... OH Yeah, and I survived my liquid diet.... and lost 6lbs to jump start my new begining...

Tomorrow is my surgery date... through all the hoops and hoopla, I'm finally here... I'm excited and nervous at the same time... But I KNOW why I'm doing this, and quite frankly I will keep focused on the BIG picture... sooooo now, 0430 can't come soon enough...

Today was the first day of my liquid diet... I must have thought of EVERY excuse to try and break it... For a food addict like me today was pure torture....
I did well, but the evening is not over... I am STARVING!!!!! I don't know if I'll make it till next Monday...