I have decided to look further into this bariatric surgery, and the Lap band seems more my speed. I just went to a seminar last night, and the information is a bit overwhelming... Truly would have wished for my Hubby to have been there, but unfortunately the Cheshire Cat was deployed... story of our lives... I did however leave there feeling a sense of purpose, I felt a little bit more sure that this is something I may benefit from...

There are support group meetings and it is a requirement to go to at least one before they schedule you a surgery date... Meetings are not new to me, nor are they my friend... issues stick to me and haunt me, even when they are NOT my own...


Wish me luck!!!!

I know sometimes, I'm all over the place, and I personally feel like all I do is complain. I can't help but to harbor on the negative... I really do need to change. I need to start seeing the lighter side of things. I DO smile, I DO find pockets of Happiness.. It's not like this for Everyone? is ANYONE always happy?

Today I felt alone, today i felt betrayed, but most of all today i hated myself all over again.

Ok, I think I may be getting the hang of all of this. I haven't been writing too much, but mostly because I've been sick as a dog, and my daughter's too. Hopeflly things will look up tomorrow.

So, today I decided to go see a fertility specialist... I guess quite frankly the decision was made between my husband and I a few weeks ago... We decided to try this long torturous road yet again.
My appointment went rather well, all things considered... The doctor was very kind, but she brought up an interesting point.... My weight... It seems that is ALWAYS an issue no matter what circumstances I'm tossed into... She mentioned Bariatric surgery, and made me think...
I have decided to at least do a little research, I'd rather be healthy for Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, than risk it all in search of something we may NEVER achieve....

wish me luck!!!

I can't sleep. It's definitely one of those nights, and the worst part is, my babies have no mercy and will be up at 0600 regardless. I know I should be at least trying to get some shut eye, but this glow is so inviting, not to mention.... The fucking nightmares I've been having the past couple of nights. I guess I should just decide if I can't or won't sleep.

The past is a bitch, ain't it? and my parents are the weeds that have polluted this orchard. I guess I'll just take a bite of this poisonous apple and see if I can enjoy the bliss of sleep. Good night.

I am really not a let me tell you all about myself kinda gal... Shit. let's be honest, If it was as easy as spilling all the fucking beans on one post, this would be over. I'd feel better and we can all go home right... I wish. Oh Yeah, and I fucking swear sometimes A LOT... If you don't like it, You can always move on... I didn't invite you, you dropped by..
If you want more, stick around... I'm sure I'll be back.